Blake’s Beats // 1,001 One-Line Album Reviews (Pt. 1)
My daily writing exercise by way of auditory adventure
Early on in the year 2023, a good friend invited me to join him on a musical adventure. The mission, should I choose to accept it, was simple, if not a bit daunting: listen to one album a day for the next 1,001.
Why sign up for a daily commitment that’d take me almost three years to complete? Well, I am a music obsessive through and through, and I hold my buddy’s musical opinion in the highest esteem. It didn’t take much convincing for me to dive, ears first, into a unique opportunity to broaden an appreciation for, and understanding of, my favorite art form.
The impetus for this adventure comes from a book released in 2005 entitled 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.
Composed by Robert Dimery (an English writer and editor known primarily for his work at Time Out and Vogue) the book comprises a selection of what an international panel of music critics has deemed to be the most important, influential, and/or “best” popular music records released since 1955 (Frank Sinatra’s In The Wee Small Hours kicks things off).
Each album contained within the book is listed chronologically and comes accompanied by a short essay detailing its lasting impact on the history of music and the factors leading to its inclusion. Every few years, a new edition of the book is published with an updated list featuring albums released in the period between editions. At the time of this writing, there have been over 80 new albums added since the original publication. This practice will presumably, and hopefully, continue until the end of time.
In 2020, Alexander Nilsson, a web developer and passionate music lover, released a website turning the book into an online generator that sends users a new record, selected at random, from the list every single day.
After 24 hours with each respective record, users are prompted to rate the album on a five-star scale and leave an optional review. Once a rating has been selected, the next record is generated automatically and the process begins anew.
“I’ve had the book laying at home for many years but never took the time to listen to every single album,” said Nilsson on the motivation leading to the generator’s creation. “I also work in an office where we usually always have music on for everyone to enjoy. So, I thought why not create a way for us to all listen to one album from the book a day?”
The experiment was a hit at Nilsson’s office, prompting him to open the shared listening experience up to an even wider audience by making the website public.
Since August 2020, over 6M individual album ratings have been registered, and upwards of 15K users now interact with the website on a daily basis.
“I had no idea the generator would become this popular,” confided Nilsson.
I’m publishing this piece after just logging my 100th album.
I have found this experience to be profoundly fulfilling and worthwhile.
Each day I awake to the chance to engage with a classic album, shine a light on a musical blindspot, or listen to an artist or genre of music I might not have given a chance otherwise. Knowing that experience is also keeping me in touch with an old friend through a mutually shared love has made it all the more special.
Shout out to my guy Matt Rawls for inviting me along on this journey.
In addition to the opportunity of deepening my knowledge of the auditory art form and keeping in contact with my buddy, this experience has provided me with a chance to keep a running review journal of sorts. The act of rating and writing a review for each album has turned out to be just as fun as the actual listening aspect of this expedition.
Believe it or not, I make a living through my words. My full-time dollars are earned writing for a company that supports nonprofit organizations and higher education institutions through technology. I also write about food and drink for a local paper as a side hustle and, of course, maintain several personal-writing passion projects (even dabbling in music journalism from time to time).
All of this preamble is to say that most of my writing life is spent on more long-form and in-depth pieces. As a result, I’ve decided to take a different approach to constructing my album reviews by challenging myself to consolidate each of the said reviews into one, single line.
Brevity is a virtue, or so they say, and there’s nothing like putting yourself into a box to make yourself think outside of that box.
Sometimes my reviews are snarky and a little too cute; sometimes I’m more earnest and attempt to sound poetic. Either way, the practice of capping my thoughts to one, singular reflection has been a wonderful exercise helping me to explore the value of restraint and contained creativity.
Bono has a great line, sung in the character of a war correspondent reflecting on his journalistic duties, that I’ve always taken to heart:
"The worst of us are a long, drawn out confession. The best of us are geniuses of compression.”
Whether all the paragraphs above have proven the former or all the reviews below will advocate for the latter is up to you.
Without further adieu, here are my first 100 one-line record reviews.
It is my intention to turn this blog into a recurring series that compiles and checks in on my progress after every 100 records until I’ve listened to and reviewed the whole lot.
Let’s take the first steps, shall we?
Red Hot Chili Peppers // Blood Sugar Sex Magik
“What you got, I must respectfully decline-a.”
2 Stars
Air // Moon Safari
“Languid lunar lounge tracks, soundtracking your electronic expedition across the stars.”
3 Stars
Kacey Musgraves // Golden Hour
“Not my cup of tea, no matter the hour.”
2 Stars
Simon & Garfunkel // Parsley, Sage, Rosemary And Thyme
“Lovely and herbaceous but it could use a little spice.”
3 Stars
Duran Duran // Rio
“Doesn’t quite light my fuse resulting in a bang, b-b-bang-oh.”
2 Stars
PJ Harvey // Let England Shake
“PJ’s most pastoral project paints a picture most perpetual.”
4 Stars
Miles Davis // In A Silent Way
“Mr. Davis proves, in ways not so silent, just how many Miles ahead he always was.”
5 Stars
Tito Puente // Dance Mania
“Eternal rhythms sure to populate even the most neglected of dance floors.”
4 Stars
Dion // Born To Be With You
“Levitational longings for the hopeless, restless romantic.”
4 Stars
R.E.M. // Document
“Reasonably Enjoyable Music.”
3 Stars
Depeche Mode // Music for the Masses
“If I’m taking a ride with my best friend and they queue up this record, well, they’re going to let me down.”
2 Stars
N.W.A. // Straight Outta Compton
“Straight Outta Compton, straight into my veins.”
5 Stars
Joy Division // Closer
“Seminal sad boy music capturing, in ways both gorgeous and ghastly, a man’s final circlings down the drain.”
5 Stars
Janelle Monáe // TheArchAndroid
“An expansive and eclectic achievement, from an undeniable talent, that’s not quite for me.”
3 Stars
Nirvana // MTV Unplugged In New York
“Go ahead and unplug me too while you’re at it.”
1 Star
Paul Simon // Graceland
“I’m not saying this record is a toothless snoozefest flirting with cultural appropriation…but I’m also not not saying that.”
2 Stars
AC/DC // Highway to Hell
“I listened to this album whilst barreling down a literal highway, and while my destination wasn’t “Hell,” it might as well have been.”
2 Stars
The Replacements // Let It Be
“Perfectly adequate, albeit not quite irreplaceable, post-punk rock tunes.”
3 Stars
Jamiroquai // Emergency On Planet Earth
“A fun, funky party best left a little early.”
3 Stars
Drive-By Truckers // Southern Rock Opera
“Firmly filing under HARD PASS.”
1 Star
Jurassic 5 // Power In Numbers
“Classic conscious hip hop worth trapping in amber.”
4 Stars
Minutemen // Double Nickels On The Dime
“The embarrassment I feel having never experienced this record prior to this exercise is outweighed only by the immense joy brought forth by the knowledge that I’ll have it in my life for the rest of my days.”
5 Stars
Pixies // Surfer Rosa
“My mind’s right here, and it’s landed on ‘Surfer So-Sosa.’”
3 Stars
Tom Waits // Swordfishtrombones
“A swampy slide down the depths of a subterranean circus led luridly by a raucous ringmaster.”
4 Stars
The War On Drugs // Lost In The Dream
“A dream worth both getting lost in and making recurring.”
5 Stars
Super Furry Animals // Fuzzy Logic
“Immediately left me with a fuzzy memory of its contents.”
2 Stars
CHIC // C’est Chic
“C’est chic, oui, et oh si funky mais dans l’ensemble juste comme ci, comme ça.”
3 Stars
R.E.M. // Murmur
“Revered Enigmatic Mediocrity.”
3 Stars
The Band // Music From Big Pink
“Can’t help but feel that spinning your father-in-law’s well-worn copy of Music From Big Pink while smoking cigars on a sunny Easter Sunday, as I did, is the way everyone should experience this record.”
4 Stars
David Gray // White Ladder
“The firm grip this record applied to my attention with its opening track, regrettably, loosened with each subsequent song.”
3 Stars
Soft Cell // Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret
“The ‘Tainted Love’ cover is immortal, but I found most else from this Soft Cell effort to be a hard listen.”
2 Stars
Bob Dylan // Time Out Of Mind
“Mindful and murky, Dylan’s 30th (!) record benefits greatly from the diminished returns of the icon’s lean years and atmospheric production from Daniel Lanois.”
4 Stars
Tom Waits // Heartattack And Vine
“The barking bard, with his rock tumbler voice and a head full of sleaze, leads us on a tour of dank alleyways, hazy cabarets, and bars where everybody knows your game.”
3 Stars
Snoop Dogg // Doggystyle
“With so much drama in the LBC, it’s kind of hard to give less than a 4, let alone a 3.”
4 Stars
Drive Like Jehu // Yank Crime
“Shame this wasn’t an instrumental record.”
2 Stars
Louis Prima // The Wildest!
“OG (Original Gangster, not Olive Garden) jazz, swing, and jump blues standards performed with jubilance and reverence for the genres.”
4 Stars
T. Rex // Electric Warrior
“An offer from The Glamfather I simply can’t refuse.”
4 Stars
Public Enemy // Apocalypse 91… The Enemy Strikes Black
“The fact that THIS record is considered lesser than Public Enemy’s three previous releases says all you need to know about the vital group’s ridiculous run from 1987–1991.”
4 Stars
David Bowie // Aladdin Sane
“No one captured lightning in a bottle with more flair, nor more frequently, than Bowie.”
4 Stars
Beck // Guero
“Beck es bastante guay para ser un güero.”
4 Stars
Jimmy Smith // Back At The Chicken Shack
“Extra crispy jazz jams that’d make even Gus Fring get up and shake his tail feather.”
4 Stars
Maxwell // Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite
“A collection of horizontal love songs I’ll likely be hitting and quitting.”
3 Stars
John Grant // Queen Of Denmark
“Shimmering soliloquies featuring a striking dichotomy between sonic stylings and subject matter.”
3 Stars
Eurythmics // Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
“Sweet Dreams (Is An Apt Title) 😴”
2 Stars
William Orbit // Strange Cargo
“I have a strong appreciation for ambient music and for spending time in William’s orbit, but I ultimately found the gravitational pull of this record to be a bit lacking.”
3 Stars
Echo And The Bunnymen // Crocodiles
“I hear the echoes of so many other bands in this Bunnymen debut, and feel a nagging desire to hop on over to their discographies instead.”
3 Stars
Scott Walker // Scott 2
“It’s a “Scott 2/5” for me, but I have to say that this dude’s voice was made to croon over the big brass and smooth strings of a Bond theme (Fun Fact: Walker’s “Only Myself To Blame” was originally intended for the closing credits of 1999’s The World Is Not Enough before being replaced with a techno remix of the classic Bond theme…tough break).”
2 Stars
Mike Oldfield // Tubular Bells
“Mike Oldfield’s Renaissance fair fever dream of a debut record (best known for its use in the opening theme of The Exorcist) features over 20 instruments (mostly played by Oldfield alone), runs over 49 minutes across just two songs, and gets two thumbs up from me.”
4 Stars
Simple Minds // New Gold Dream (81/82/83/84)
“I’ll keep it simple: I didn’t pay this record much mind.”
2 Stars
Big Star // Third/Sister Lovers
“Big 2-Star Energy.”
2 Stars
Neil Young & Crazy Horse // Rust Never Sleeps
“Rust Never Sleeps, nor does it ever seem to accumulate on Neil Young’s discography.”
4 Stars
Marvin Gaye // What’s Going On
“Maybe we’ll never find the answers to Marvin’s musings, as the injustices of the past bleed into modern day, but as much as our revolving reality makes us want to cry, you just have to remember, always, to try.”
5 Stars
Fairport Convention // Unhalfbricking
“An at times transcendent time capsule of late 60s baroque folk that could still place on Pitchfork’s Best New Music today.”
3 Stars
Alanis Morissette // Jagged Little Pill
“WARNING: Prolonged listening can lead to an increased risk of certain side effects and complications, including nausea, migraines, diarrhea, perforated eardrums, dizziness, and death.”
1 Star
Neil Young & Crazy Horse // Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere
“Everybody knows skips are nowhere to be found on this record.”
4 Stars
The Monkees // Headquarters
“Welcome to BS HQ.”
2 Stars
CAN // Tago Mago
“I CAN and WILL give this deranged krautrock classic an EASY 5.”
5 Stars
Pulp // Different Class
“To write anything suggesting I enjoyed, so much as tolerated, this record would be a work of Pulp Fiction.”
2 Stars
Beth Orton // Central Reservation
“My Central Reservation in rating this album any higher than 2 stars is based on a complete lack of memorability.”
2 Stars
Machito // Kenya
“Kinetic Latin jazz kindling ready and raring to spark the flame of any dance floor, house party, or, in my case, Wednesday morning.”
4 Stars
Emerson, Lake & Palmer // Tarkus
“Add some cannabis smoke to this fog of prog and get lost in its seas of keys and harmonies.”
3 Stars
Screaming Trees // Dust
“I’m as surprised as you are, dear reader, that a grunge-adjacent record from 1996 is getting a 4 from me, but the powers of Mark Lanegan seem to trump any of my genre or decade biases.”
4 Stars
The Smiths // The Queen Is Dead
“Long live The Queen Is Dead!”
5 Stars
Kraftwerk // Autobahn
“Electronic music means a whole lot to me, and I really respect Kraftwerk for laying the foundation for the genre’s proliferation by way of this groundbreaking sonic highway of a record; I just wish they hit the gas once in a while.”
3 Stars
David Bowie // The Next Day
“A bleak, beguiling, and, at times, bewildering Bowie record that synthesizes the singular artist’s individual introspections into universal understandings.”
4 Stars
U2 // War
“This was my favorite U2 record throughout my angstier years, and while time, maturation, and perspective have led to its ranking being bumped down one peg, it’ll always hold a special place in my (still quite angsty) heart.”
5 Stars
Digital Underground // Sex Packets
“There’s some funky fun to be had here, but I think I’ll pass on the generous, 65-minute offer of, uh, sex…packets (?!?), thank you.”
2 Stars
Oasis // (What’s The Story) Morning Glory
“Immortal Britpop glory for the morning, noon, and night.”
4 Stars
Johnny Cash // At San Quentin
“Come for Cash’s raw, live vocal performance for a crowd of convicts, stay for the stage banter directed at said crowd of convicts.”
4 Stars
Miles Davis // Kind Of Blue
“The best Kind Of Blue.”
5 Stars
Caetano Veloso // Caetano Veloso
“A sonically diverse and well-formed debut that’d sound equally at home soundtracking a Sunday morning or cocktails by the pool as it would a Latin nightclub or cigars in a low-lit lounge.”
4 Stars
The Go-Go’s // Beauty And The Beat
“This Go-Go’s harder than I expected it to.”
3 Stars
David Bowie // Low
“The opening act of Bowie’s Berlin Trilogy features few lows and many highs thanks to the art rock atmospherics created in collaboration with Brian Eno and Tony Visconti.”
5 Stars
Rahul Dev Burnman // Shalimar
“Ascending a mountain as the sun set behind me while these enchanting songs from faraway lands soundtracked my journey had me feeling like a proper Bollywood hero.”
4 Stars
Madonna // Like A Prayer
“Hollow and inconsequential, much like an actual prayer.”
2 Stars
Daft Punk // Homework
“A dazzlingly well-formed, supremely danceable debut from a duo that only got better with time.”
4 Stars
Lenny Kravitz // Let Love Rule
“Love rules — this record does not.”
2 Stars
The La’s // The La’s
“And I just can’t contain, this 2-star feeling that remains.”
2 Stars
Eminem // The Slim Shady LP
“I can really respect Eminem’s considerable creative control of the English language, but the enjoyment I’ve found in actually listening to his music has always been slim.”
2 Stars
Faust // Faust IV
“Moments of experimental excitement are ultimately too few and far between in this over-fermented work of krautrock.”
3 Stars
Lightning Bolt // Wonderful Rainbow
“Listened to this record at the gym and now I’m convinced it should be classified as a performance-enhancing drug.”
4 Stars
Sleater-Kinney // Dig Me Out
“I dig the punk feminist energy; I do not dig the incessant warbly vocals expressing that energy.”
2 Stars
Black Sabbath // Vol. 4
“I prefer the band’s three preceding volumes, but even “lesser” Sabbath is good for a couple pairs of devil horns. 🤘🤘”
4 Stars
DJ Shadow // Endtroducing…..
“A mind-boggling masterpiece from a true pioneer serving as a towering testament to the unique ways in which a producer can transcend the sum of their samples.”
5 Stars
Creedence Clearwater Revival // Bayou Country
“Best listened to on an airboat in Louisiana or helicopter above Vietnam.”
3 Stars
Elbow // The Seldom Seen Kid
“Seldom sounded interesting.”
2 Stars
Fiona Apple // Fetch The Bolt Cutters
“Worthwhile and well made, just not made for me.”
3 Stars
Steely Dan // Countdown To Ecstasy
“I’ll never be a father, nor will I ever own a yacht, so why is it that I find myself so enchanted by Steely Dan’s silky-smooth siren songs?!”
4 Stars
The Flaming Lips // The Soft Bulletin
“Why’s it called The Soft Bulletin when it hits so fucking hard?”
5 Stars
Jimi Hendrix // Electric Ladyland
“Bow down to one of the most unassailable talents our world has ever seen.”
5 Stars
Venom // Black Metal
“Big, dumb, trailblazing metal for those looking to spice up their next séance, summoning, and/or Satanic slumber party.”
3 Stars
Grateful Dead // Live / Dead
“Maybe if my formative experiences with psychedelics were soundtracked by The Dead, I’d have more patience for their nonsensical noodling…but they weren’t…and I don’t.”
2 Stars
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds // The Boatman’s Call
“A wonderfully woeful album to get lost in when you’re lost in your feelings.”
4 Stars
808 State // 90
“Lush, perfectly produced acid house as likely to get your brain moving as it is your body.”
4 Stars
Roxy Music // Roxy Music
“Spirits of art-, glam-, and avant-rock meld marvelously to craft a stunningly singular cocktail of particular intoxication.”
5 Stars
Pet Shop Boys // Behaviour
“Knowing nothing going in, I came out mostly swept off my feet by the melodic melancholy and emotional resonance of these decidedly-adult synth-pop soundscapes.”
4 Stars
Yeah Yeah Yeahs // It’s Blitz!
“I was prepared to write “Meh Meh Mehs,” then Karen O. & Co. smacked some (but not all) of the smug out of me.”
3 Stars
Common // Be
“Production from Kanye Fucking West and J Fucking Dilla are cheat codes for a game already made all too easy by Common’s street-wisened rhymes.”
5 Stars
Meat Puppets // Meat Puppets II
“I find much of the guitarwork on this record to be interesting, compelling even, but the cowpunk vocals and trailer park vibes do not work for me.”
3 Stars
Leonard Cohen // You Want It Darker
“Cohen premeditates on the afterlife with a tombstone timbre as his two feet steadily sink down six.”
3 Stars
100 records down, 900-something to go. See you in a few months!
(Don’t want to wait? Follow my Instagram stories for daily reviews.)
